Ok...let's see if this actually works. Definitely kinda new to this whole thing.. I guess this is my venting board, today sucked!!!! I totally spent around 10-12hrs studying this weekend to come in and test and find that what I studied wasn't even on the test. Where did I go wrong? I can definitely say that I probably was the most stressed out today than I have been this semester. Knowing that we have so much to do in such a little time is stressful anyway, but then to have test back to back (at least it feels like it) to finish so we can go to practicum within like a month and a half or so just feels so overwhelming. See, for some people studying comes natural or making good grades comes natural but for me...NOT!!! I have to study for HOURS AND HOURS and then I am just relying on prayer to get me through. :) Seriously, I was never the type of person that just made good grades or educationally things came easy to me, nope not me. I think that's why I am so stressed. I am not undernurished by any means, but completely sleeped deprived and studied out. And I think I am just trying to juggle being a mom, student, traveling, and, somewhere, sleeping in all of this. But guess what I am doing tonight...........yep, STUDYING! Poor Rachel who sits beside me and continues to pat me on the back....I think she can sense my stress...or she just feels really sorry for me because she thinks I am being over dramatic..who knows. But all the stress from today was bottled so deep within me that during a fingerspelling class I would let it out on poor MIKE! haha...during a competition I hit a guy from a fingerspelling class that I am technically not a part of ..they just allow Rachel and I to join..Basically so they can laugh at our lack of skills. But poor Mike didn't see getting a beat down coming. Not really a beat down..just smacked him in his stomach.
But in all seriousness, I just want this so bad that I am stressing, thinking interpreting is beyond my capabilities and above any goal that I can set. It's like when I actually think I can do this and be remotely good, something happens to discourage me. I am totally at odds within myself. Sometimes I am waiting to just hear someone tell me to stop trying this isn't for me. I think that's why I keep asking April if she thinks I can do this. Don't LIE!! That's normally what I say. HEy APRIL YOU'RE READING THIS...FEEL FREE TO TELL ME THE TRUTH..I CAN TAKE IT LIKE A WOMAN! Well now that I have shared my depressing feelings for the day to the world..I think I actually might feel better:)
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Oh, Jasmin, I don't think youre being overdramatic! (: I just think you need a hug occassionaly. And since desks make hugs awkward to manuever, I settled for a pat on the back. But c'mon; admit it. It made you feel better! (:
We're gonna be okay.
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